Yesterday was an upsetting day :( My cards went out in the first round of the NCAA tournament. We lost to Morehead and I don't know what was worse losing or listening to all the UK fans...UGHHH!!!!! The past week has been a long one. the kids are doing great and I am just so proud to be their mother. I love them both so very much! There was a devastating 9.0 earthquake and Tsunami in Japan. I don't know how these people will ever move past such loss and destruction. Whole families have been torn apart, homes are destroyed, and the fear over a nuclear meltdown and other health concerns has to be crippling. It really helps to put things in perspective. I am so lucky to have a great job and such wonderful children and a supportive family. There are things that I want for myself and for my children that just don't seem to be in the cards right now but the focus needs to always remain on what we do have instead of what we don't. I hope to have a great weekend with the kids. Hopefully the weather will be nice and we will be able to get outside and get some fresh air. Life is good!!

February Update

 I have been slacking SOOO much on this when I swore I would keep up with it. Well Jenna is five months now and gorgeous and perfect as ever. She is having a blast with her brothers and things are going really well. I got some one on one time with Taylor where he schooled me in bowling LOL and Jenna got some one on one time with her daddy and they went and got her a jumperoo from our friend Jenny J Taylor is doing well in school and currently has TWO loose teeth, he is EXTREMELY excited! Jenna has had some tummy issues but hopefully those will be resolved soon. Work has been insane this week we have already worked nearly 5 days and it’s just Wednesday.  Taylor can’t wait for session to be over so his mommy can pick him up from school. J I love that he misses me but it makes me sad to have to tell him that I will be home late AGAIN.  Taylor had his final basketball game where he did awesome. He got a medal and was so proud! Long story short, we had some good time in February. Lots of busy days and nights.Love you all!

 Feeling GOOD!!!


First things first I am TERRIBLE at the whole keeping up with my blog thing. LOL

I guess I have just been having too much fun. These last few months have been some of the most incredible months of my life. My kids never cease to amaze me. Taylor is becoming such a young man and takes such amazing care of his little sister and Jenna well she is just a princess. Part of me feels like I should give in to the stress and the feeling of being overwhelmed because it would just be easier than picking up and doing what needs to be done but the biggest part of me says HECK NO this is the best time of your life. I have been thinking a lot about forgiveness and the past and the people who mean the most in our lives. Lord knows that I still have lots of time before these thoughts will ever start to come together and make sense but I think the Carrie Underwood song “Lessons Learned“sums it up best…”I'm thankful, for every break in my heart, I'm grateful, for every scar, Some pages turned, Some bridges burned, But there were lessons learned.” One could say I have learned my fair share of lessons of the last couple of years. One may also say I should have learned more from them. I don’t regret the fact that I have a loving forgiving heart I am just trying my best to work on making sure I am doing the forgiving and loving for the right reasons and to the right people for myself and my kids. I guess my point is right now I am positive, and things are great. Jenna is almost 4 months old and in a couple of months my BABY boy will be six. I cannot believe how quickly time flies. These kids are keeping me on my feet for sure but I couldn’t be more proud or excited for our future!! I promise I will try to do better about updating! Love to all of you!

!

HOLD ON!

All of the tragedy and loss surrounding the people I know has forced me to think about and reevaluate how lucky I really am. A lot of times I feel intense pressure to over compensate for the lack of a father figure in my children's lives. I want more than anything for them to grow up knowing how very much they are loved and valued. A lot of the times I wonder if what I am doing is good enough. They deserve the world and I am only one woman how can I possibly be everything they need. This weekend I spent a lot of time holding them and looking at the way the interact with each other and I think you all will agree they look pretty happy and fulfilled. It is hard for me to grasp sometimes why someone would choose to not be a part of a life they helped create, but the more I think about it the more I have come to realize it does no good to get hung up on the what ifs and what could have beens. If we go through life wondering what if than we will miss too many precious moments and memories that are going on right now. There was a lady whose baby girl was born just days after Jenna that posted on my birthboard (internet forum) that her daughter was diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumor. My heart broke when I read this. I can’t imagine the pain a mother must feel to get that sort of news. It had me in tears and I simply know them through posts on the internet. My heart also breaks for the family of the little girl who died in the fire this weekend. I don’t know how these families go on. It makes me want to cling to every moment with my children for dear life. They are such amazing kids and I feel like the luckiest woman in the world.

We worry about what a child will become tomorrow, yet we forget that he is someone today.  ~Stacia Tauscher

“It won’t be like this for long. One day soon you'll drop her off, And she won’t even know you're gone.  This phase is gonna fly by, If you can just hold on, It won’t be like this for long” Darius Rucker

Check out our Weekend Pics!!! 

  
 

Momma loves……

My five year old angel who literally saved my life when he came into this world. Rescued me from a horrible situation and gave me reason to pick myself up, dust myself off and find myself again. He is the absolute love of my life. I see so much of me in him, both bad a good. He has the biggest heart and he wears it directly on his sleeve like his momma. He also has the biggest mouth and isn’t afraid to tell you his opinion just like his momma. He started Kindergarten this year and I thought my heart would stop when I watched him walk through those doors…he has grown so fast. I have so much to be proud of I don’t even know where to start. The boy is good at testing my patience for sure but I couldn’t live one second without him. He truly is my gift from God and momma loves him.

My two month old baby girl who is the light of my life. A very unexpected gift that I wouldn’t trade for the whole world. She is such an easygoing baby and has already added so much to our lives. I can’t wait to see what her future brings. She is a very lucky girl to have Taylor as her big brother she will always have someone looking out for her. She is so calm compared to Taylor and I, like the yin to our yang! :) I sure went through a lot in the past year getting her here but she is here she is healthy and momma loves her.   

What can I even say about my amazing family? They have truly been there every step of the way. They may not always agree with what I do or more specifically who I date LOL (PS they are always right) but they are always there for me. My mom is my rock, my inspiration, and my soft place to land. She gave me life, courage, strength, and the wisdom to make it to where I am today. My dad no matter how much he may hate some of the things I do I know he will love me forever and that he is proud of me. My future brother-in-law, BJ, lets me know that my sister will be provided for and loved the rest of her life and there truly is no greater gift for me. To know that she is protected and will have someone to help her and love her and her future children makes me breathe easier. The way he loves and take cares of my kids, the help he has given us those are things that can never be repaid. My beautiful other half, my sister Shelley. I love this girl more than anything in the world.  Lord knows we have had our share of ups and downs but never once have I felt like I couldn’t count on her. She truly is my best friend in every sense of the word. We are the opposite and the same. She gets me at my core. She knows my deepest darkest secrets and who I truly am inside. My extended family is the BEST and always there when I need them...especially over this past year! This is my family and momma loves them.

“Other things may change us, but we start and end with family”-  Anthony Brandt 

Well that wasn’t too painful and I promise I will get better…Just thought I should share a bit about my family since I am sure they will be featured quite often!! :)