All of the tragedy and loss surrounding the people I know has forced me to think about and reevaluate how lucky I really am. A lot of times I feel intense pressure to over compensate for the lack of a father figure in my children's lives. I want more than anything for them to grow up knowing how very much they are loved and valued. A lot of the times I wonder if what I am doing is good enough. They deserve the world and I am only one woman how can I possibly be everything they need. This weekend I spent a lot of time holding them and looking at the way the interact with each other and I think you all will agree they look pretty happy and fulfilled. It is hard for me to grasp sometimes why someone would choose to not be a part of a life they helped create, but the more I think about it the more I have come to realize it does no good to get hung up on the what ifs and what could have beens. If we go through life wondering what if than we will miss too many precious moments and memories that are going on right now. There was a lady whose baby girl was born just days after Jenna that posted on my birthboard (internet forum) that her daughter was diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumor. My heart broke when I read this. I can’t imagine the pain a mother must feel to get that sort of news. It had me in tears and I simply know them through posts on the internet. My heart also breaks for the family of the little girl who died in the fire this weekend. I don’t know how these families go on. It makes me want to cling to every moment with my children for dear life. They are such amazing kids and I feel like the luckiest woman in the world.
We worry about what a child will become tomorrow, yet we forget that he is someone today. ~Stacia Tauscher
“It won’t be like this for long. One day soon you'll drop her off, And she won’t even know you're gone. This phase is gonna fly by, If you can just hold on, It won’t be like this for long” Darius Rucker
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