Tuesday, December 21, 2010


All of the tragedy and loss surrounding the people I know has forced me to think about and reevaluate how lucky I really am. A lot of times I feel intense pressure to over compensate for the lack of a father figure in my children's lives. I want more than anything for them to grow up knowing how very much they are loved and valued. A lot of the times I wonder if what I am doing is good enough. They deserve the world and I am only one woman how can I possibly be everything they need. This weekend I spent a lot of time holding them and looking at the way the interact with each other and I think you all will agree they look pretty happy and fulfilled. It is hard for me to grasp sometimes why someone would choose to not be a part of a life they helped create, but the more I think about it the more I have come to realize it does no good to get hung up on the what ifs and what could have beens. If we go through life wondering what if than we will miss too many precious moments and memories that are going on right now. There was a lady whose baby girl was born just days after Jenna that posted on my birthboard (internet forum) that her daughter was diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumor. My heart broke when I read this. I can’t imagine the pain a mother must feel to get that sort of news. It had me in tears and I simply know them through posts on the internet. My heart also breaks for the family of the little girl who died in the fire this weekend. I don’t know how these families go on. It makes me want to cling to every moment with my children for dear life. They are such amazing kids and I feel like the luckiest woman in the world.

We worry about what a child will become tomorrow, yet we forget that he is someone today.  ~Stacia Tauscher

“It won’t be like this for long. One day soon you'll drop her off, And she won’t even know you're gone.  This phase is gonna fly by, If you can just hold on, It won’t be like this for long” Darius Rucker

Check out our Weekend Pics!!! 

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Momma loves……

My five year old angel who literally saved my life when he came into this world. Rescued me from a horrible situation and gave me reason to pick myself up, dust myself off and find myself again. He is the absolute love of my life. I see so much of me in him, both bad a good. He has the biggest heart and he wears it directly on his sleeve like his momma. He also has the biggest mouth and isn’t afraid to tell you his opinion just like his momma. He started Kindergarten this year and I thought my heart would stop when I watched him walk through those doors…he has grown so fast. I have so much to be proud of I don’t even know where to start. The boy is good at testing my patience for sure but I couldn’t live one second without him. He truly is my gift from God and momma loves him.

My two month old baby girl who is the light of my life. A very unexpected gift that I wouldn’t trade for the whole world. She is such an easygoing baby and has already added so much to our lives. I can’t wait to see what her future brings. She is a very lucky girl to have Taylor as her big brother she will always have someone looking out for her. She is so calm compared to Taylor and I, like the yin to our yang! :) I sure went through a lot in the past year getting her here but she is here she is healthy and momma loves her.   

What can I even say about my amazing family? They have truly been there every step of the way. They may not always agree with what I do or more specifically who I date LOL (PS they are always right) but they are always there for me. My mom is my rock, my inspiration, and my soft place to land. She gave me life, courage, strength, and the wisdom to make it to where I am today. My dad no matter how much he may hate some of the things I do I know he will love me forever and that he is proud of me. My future brother-in-law, BJ, lets me know that my sister will be provided for and loved the rest of her life and there truly is no greater gift for me. To know that she is protected and will have someone to help her and love her and her future children makes me breathe easier. The way he loves and take cares of my kids, the help he has given us those are things that can never be repaid. My beautiful other half, my sister Shelley. I love this girl more than anything in the world.  Lord knows we have had our share of ups and downs but never once have I felt like I couldn’t count on her. She truly is my best friend in every sense of the word. We are the opposite and the same. She gets me at my core. She knows my deepest darkest secrets and who I truly am inside. My extended family is the BEST and always there when I need them...especially over this past year! This is my family and momma loves them.

“Other things may change us, but we start and end with family”-  Anthony Brandt 

Well that wasn’t too painful and I promise I will get better…Just thought I should share a bit about my family since I am sure they will be featured quite often!! :)